To be honest, the excitement has started to wear off and in its place this “Wtf did I just do” feeling has taken over. Why am I uprooting my entire my life (friends, family, coworkers I absolutely love and admire) for uncertainty? While there is definitely an explanation it will have to come in a later blog post.
With the big date approaching, naturally, people are asking me the same questions. Are you ready? Are you excited? Amongst other small details about housing, how I’m getting there, the facility, etc. As I prepare the numerous documents, complete competencies/modules, setting up appointments, it is beginning to feel very real yet overwhelming.
My mind is starting to race with “what ifs.” What if my assignment is canceled, what if this is a mistake? What if the housing situation is not what I thought? What if I’m floated to a different facility every day?
At the end of my response to all questions from others and myself has been: “Honestly I’m just winging it.” Which is said in a very nonchalant tone accompanied by a shoulder shrug. The amount of confused looks and side eyes has definitely been entertaining. While it sounds absolutely insane, it is my plan B. After all, adapting is just a fancy word for winging it.
In this travel nurse role, it is expected that I will “hit the ground running” the day I walk on the unit. There will be minimal, if any orientation and hopefully a tour of the facility. I have to be open and accepting of my future circumstances, regardless of what they will be because adapting (aka winging it) is a “whole job skill” as my friend put it.
I’ve made it this far, I owe it to myself to see it through despite the “what ifs.”
“God placed the best things in life on the other side of terror. On the other side of your maximum fear are of all the best things in life.” – Will Smith